4 x blessed=me!

I am so in love with being a mom. Don’t get me wrong…there are days when that statement has to be forced out of my mouth, but I have never regretted having any one of my beautiful four babies. They are smart, beautiful blessings, and I am so grateful that God allowed them to be part of my life.

There was a day when we didn’t think we would be able to have children. We had tried for a while on our own, and my doctor confirmed to me my worst fear as a wife and woman that loves children. She told me that I had a condition called endometriosis and that being able to conceive, for me, would be almost impossible, and that we should look at all of our options before getting completely frustrated.

Devastating.

Heartbroken.

Angry.

Frustrated.

I still remember Tim holding me as I was crying. I wanted children so badly that I would just yearn every time I saw baby shoes or someone holding a little one.

Another year went by and I decided I wanted to go to grad school instead of spending money on trying to have children. We were both in college, working part time jobs to just get by, so having an overabundance of money just wasn’t in the plans at that time.

Everyone at work had the flu, and I just thought it was my turn. I ended up sick for over a week and it just wouldn’t go away…no fever. My sister came to visit and convinced me to take a pregnancy test. I cried as I took it, knowing that if I got another “negative,” that the devastation would be more than I could bear, but at least she would be there to comfort me as she sat there, seven months pregnant with her second daughter.

Isn’t that where God meets us the most? There I was, pants down, sitting on the toilet, peeing on a stick, and begging God for mercy, refusing to look at a stupid piece of plastic because that little line held such power over my life that if it wasn’t there again, I knew I would be broken for days.

Vulnerable. Completely vulnerable.

Defying all odds, medical and human, God made a way where there was no way. In that moment, God gave me my first child. I saw that line…positive. In that moment, I was Sarah. What seemed impossible in human eyes, God made possible. The doctor was so floored that she would not confirm that this was a viable pregnancy for two months. She was convinced that I would never carry that baby.

My oldest daughter is now 11 wonderful years old and is followed by two sons and another baby girl just to bring it all together, and just because He can.

If you doubt for one moment that it was God and not just a medical mistake, remember this; two years ago, I had to go into the GYN because I was in such pain that I almost passed out. When the doctor did the exam, she was floored that I was able to have one child, let alone four of them. I had a hysterectomy because everything was such a mess.

Why? Because God is good.

Four kids? That is God’s best for me.

I want to be God’s best for them as a Mom. He didn’t have to give them to me. He just did.

Why do I tell you this long and awesome story?

Because God answers prayer.

It might not look like what we think it will look like in the end, but He does answer prayer. I know that He hears my prayers for a healthier and more abundant future. If He can make it so that I can have children, He can help me to lose this weight. He wants His best for me.

I’m excited about His future for me, because His future for me is His best for me.